WINNER

Tipper to your Al Gore- Number 3 - ROB KIMMEL

Runners Up
Seeking a Religious Experience - Number 14 - EMILY BRADY

A Combustable Elvis - Number 13 - BRIAN STEENSLAND


 
 
Number 1 - NANCY LABINER
A Sore Crispy Al Roker		 Number 2 - EZEKIEL DAS
Quick dressing Waylon Jennings		 Number 3 - ROB KIMMEL
Tipper to your Al Gore
Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very mustardy and moldy.  He should have a body like Mr. Greenjeans, a personality like Mork from Ork, and the sexual nature of a furry possum.  He must be polite and always remember to bungie her toenail, to tip his eggplant and to take her delicate stubbley eyebrow when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd swimmingly, should have a chafed intellect, and should always dress graciously.  She would like him to be a sore lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper blistered nothings in her buttocks and caress her spotted trick-or-treat sized candy tenderly.  She should know that a crispy man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Al Roker. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very flat and bright.  He should have a body like Meryl Streep, a personality like Oscar the Grouch, and the sexual nature of a hippo.  He must be polite and always remember to fly her boxer, to tip his nun and to take her delicate eyeball when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd slowly, should have an ugly intellect, and should always dress quickly.  She would like him to be a grand lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper hot nothings in her cleavage and caress her tiny water tenderly.  She should know that a central man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Waylon Jennings. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very shifty and spangled.  He should have a body like Regis Philbin, a personality like Pamela Anderson, and the sexual nature of a slug.  He must be polite and always remember to fall her toenail, to tip his circular saw and to take her delicate elbow when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd nastily, should have a hairy intellect, and should always dress sneakily.  She would like him to be a marvelous lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper purple nothings in her sphincter and caress her tiny cucumber tenderly.  She should know that a silky man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Al Gore.
Number 4 - BILL CAMERON
A Sleepy yet Gleeful Doug Henning		 Number 5 - PEGGY PARFANOFF
Fly boy with James Dean's Body		 Number 6 - SAMANTHA VINCENTY
An Offensively dressed Vanessa delRio
Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very leaden and molten.  He should have a body like Vincent Price, a personality like Harriet Tubman, and the sexual nature of a elk.  He must be polite and always remember to expunge her gridlock, to tip his shot glass and to take her delicate ulna when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd gleefully, should have a sleepy intellect, and should always dress wefully.  She would like him to be a burning lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper burning nothings in her earlobe and caress her harried gosling tenderly.  She should know that a burnt man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Doug Henning. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very spendid and torrid.  He should have a body like James Dean, a personality like Darva Conger, and the sexual nature of a rabbit.  He must be polite and always remember to leap her baggage, to tip his image and to take her delicate knee when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd swftly, should have a round intellect, and should always dress soundly.  She would like him to be a purple lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper handsome nothings in her lip and caress her ruddy corn tenderly.  She should know that a fly man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Gwyenth Paltrow. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very pock-marked and spacious.  He should have a body like Rip Taylor, a personality like Rupert Murdoch, and the sexual nature of a llama.  He must be polite and always remember to slurp her hot pocket, to tip his hot toddy and to take her delicate nipple when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd blindingly, should have a sensual intellect, and should always dress offensively.  She would like him to be a racist lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper arousing nothings in her sternum and caress her flashy pinki ring tenderly.  She should know that a cockamamie man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Vanessa del Rio.
Number 7 - SONNY LUFRANO
Homely and Limp		 Number 8 - LETICIA PLATE & FAMILY
Looking for Frida Khalo		 Number 9 - PERUL DESAI
A Small and Pretty Panda
Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very salty and dipshitty.  He should have a body like Colin Powell, a personality like Limp Penis, and the sexual nature of a tarantula.  He must be polite and always remember to fuck her Brooklyn Bridge, to tip his London and to take her delicate Limp Penis when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd attentively, should have a purple intellect, and should always dress cowardly.  She would like him to be a colossal lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper ugly nothings in her vagina and caress her bitch Esa tenderly.  She should know that a homely man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Allen Iverson. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very hairy and stiff.  He should have a body like Darth Vadar, a personality like Picasso, and the sexual nature of a giraffe.  He must be polite and always remember to jump her computer, to tip his coffee and to take her delicate ear when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd darkly, should have an earthy intellect, and should always dress gingerly.  She would like him to be an icy lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper sleepy nothings in her armpit and caress her bitter apple tenderly.  She should know that a translucent man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Frida Khalo. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very small and pretty.  He should have a body like David Duchovny, a personality like Jennifer Vulna, and the sexual nature of a panda.  He must be polite and always remember to swim her car, to tip his hat and to take her delicate lips when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd slowly, should have a green intellect, and should always dress wildly.  She would like him to be a slippery lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper wet nothings in her arm and caress her blue pants tenderly.  She should know that a sexy man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Freddie Prinze Jr.
Number 10 - ALIDA SZABO
Slinky Media Mogul		 Number 11 - MICK CALHOUN
Caress My Skyscaper		 Number 12 - MEGHAN HAAS
Agent Tiny Tim
Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very spongy and cellular.  He should have a body like Zorro, a personality like John Kurtz, and the sexual nature of a Aardvark.  He must be polite and always remember to skip her paw, to tip his claw and to take her delicate nose hiars when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd inconsolably, should have a bushy intellect, and should always dress squarely.  She would like him to be a gored lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper flaky nothings in her armpit and caress her day-glow sliver tenderly.  She should know that a slinky man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Oprah. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very quick and woo-hooily.  He should have a body like Quasimodo, a personality like Adonis, and the sexual nature of a caterpillar.  He must be polite and always remember to swim her noun, to tip his streetcar and to take her delicate ear when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd hastily, should have a sloppy intellect, and should always dress colorfully.  She would like him to be an odd lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper joyful nothings in her nose and caress her silent skyscraper tenderly.  She should know that a foul man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Tina Turner. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very frumpy and fancy.  He should have a body like Robert Stack, a personality like Agent Muldar, and the sexual nature of a buffalo.  He must be polite and always remember to tumble her match, to tip his cigarette and to take her delicate belly when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd swimmingly, should have a sparkly intellect, and should always dress stealthily.  She would like him to be a fantastic lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper flighty nothings in her elbow and caress her sharp goblet tenderly.  She should know that a giant man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Tiny Tim.
Number 13 - BRIAN STEENSLAND
A Combustable Elvis		 Number 14 - EMILY BRADY
Seeking a Religious Experience
Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very nefarious and elongated.  He should have a body like Dick Cheney, a personality like Ricky Martin, and the sexual nature of a python.  He must be polite and always remember to slither her martini glass, to tip his door knob and to take her delicate belly when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd coolly, should have a combustable intellect, and should always dress reluctantly.  She would like him to be a gooey lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper industrious nothings in her big toe and caress her omnipotent fart tenderly.  She should know that a stuffed man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Elvis. Esa's "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very dissonant and saturnine.  He should have a body like Jesus Christ, a personality like Marilyn Manson, and the sexual nature of a three-toed sloth.  He must be polite and always remember to surge her ionic column, to tip his cirrus cloud and to take her delicate nape when crossing the street.  He should move through a crowd delicately, should have a savory intellect, and should always dress suavely.  She would like him to be a hirsute lover, and when they are alone, he should whisper girlish nothings in her double chin and caress her quicksilver rubicund tenderly.  She should know that a lingual man like this is hard to find.  In fact, it is plain to see that her dream man is Bozo.